Friday, May 8, 2009

Hate is a Very Strong Word...

But I actually HATE Gladiator sandals. What moron fashion designer had the cocaine-induced brilliant idea "Hey, I know what I could invent, a sandal that looks like what the ancient greeks wore, that will look ugly on everyone alive, and will make even Heidi Klum look like a frumpy mess." Sheer brilliance.

I actually feel violent toward this shoe, and you know I love me some shoes. So I know you're thinking "If you hate them so much, what's the big deal?" The big deal is that I recently bought a dress for an upcoming wedding that we're attending (my cousin Matt and his oh-so-adorable fiance, Ashley), and it's one of those Maxi dresses. I feel certain that you've seen them everywhere. These things are hot. I originally wasn't so sure I liked the Maxi either, but after trying one on I realized that they are the perfect weight for summer, can be dressed up (say, for a wedding perhaps) or down for a picnic with the fam on Belle Isle. They also hide a multitude of sins (can we say post-cesarean belly?) and can be easily taken in as I continue to lose this dreadful pregnancy weight. It's a cute dress, but EVERY single ad I see for ANY Maxi dress (any style, any color, any pattern) features a woman wearing it with Gladiator sandals. It's almost as if there's a rule. I asked a friend if I could get away with pairing it with some Espadrilles or a cute strappy sandal with a low heel and she laughed at me. Her response:

"Look, I hate the Gladiator sandal movement too. Everyone does. But you just have to do it. Put on your big-girl panties and deal with it. The Maxi dress has love for only one style shoe."

What to do???


Angela said...

I would definitely go for the espadrille wedge sandal. Gladiator sandals are for chumps and Paris Hilton. Just sayin. You could also just wear your Crocs. I might possibly hate them less than the Roman Soldier footwear.

Jewels said...

HAHAHAHA...Angela, you are hilarious! I knew I could count on you to give an honest opinion.

They are pretty wretched, aren't they?